"what about the honor and glory of winning?"

My quote up there is from Dancing Shoes by Noel Streatfeild, definitely a children's book of superior quality. I really have enjoyed reading her books over the past few years, this one is in the same stream as the others, but I'd have to admit that my all-time favorite "shoe book" is undoubtedly Ballet Shoes, most likely because there are three such unique and different sisters. I definitely enjoy those Fossils.

My post wasn't really about a children's book, though....

As everyone does, I have some kind of future that will inevitably kick itself into action and then end in some kind of eternity. Thankfully, the eternal part is nothing to worry about anymore (hurray for Jesus!), but I hate to admit that I do often wonder/worry/anticipate/analyze the part of my future between now and THEN.

Considering that it seems chapter after chapter of familiarity in my life is concluding, pressing me to pioneer and persevere through much more than I think I would've expected of myself a few short years ago, I thought it fitting to blog a little about the process, the pleading, and the (to alliterate well) persuasion involved.

First, the process. That in and of itself (sadly) leads to the pleading. I am entirely too analytical when it comes to my own life (I think that when it comes to others' lives, though, I may not analyze enough, and usually tend to "go with my gut"). I am indecisive (anyone surprised?). I push things off, procrastinating until the pressure-time is NOW, and I need to hurriedly decide my course in the next few hours.

Pleasant? I think otherwise.

Still, this process has seemingly "worked" for the majority (or at least plurality) of my life, and I haven't falled off of any cliffs (jumping is different), have not ended up in any egregious predicaments, and have managed to keep all of my limbs and still have the ability to add small sums in my head.

So after too many pro-con lists, interesting discussions with God, myself and other people (who ALL have the answer, right?), I fall into the pleading stage. I simply plead with myself, 'Just make a decision!' I argue back that God hasn't affirmed any of the choices yet.... And then, both sides of my argument with myself turn to God and plead with Him for an answer... ANY answer. "Just end the pain of waiting!" we cry.

...still nothing.

Eventually, something happens. I cannot say really what something is, but it's simply something. And then I have been persuaded. Ususally the something isn't much, but it's enough, and off I go to do whatever it is I've been persuaded to do.

And then another situation arises... maybe a situation where I have interned with CCC for two years and cannot be an intern any longer. Maybe in the situation I need to make a choice and there are many options. Maybe I can join staff, maybe I can move to Timbuktu and work in a coffee shop that also sells elephant tusks pilfered from poachers, maybe I can get a 'real job' using my degree to bring joy (or pain) to many by writing manuals for some company somewhere.

Maybe I would rather not make a decision. That's the most likely maybe of them all.

:::please pray:::