like a dog chasing its tail

Today, Ruth and I decided to try the new Solarium resource in sharing our faith. To clarify a bit: this is a new initiative to engage students in spiritual conversations by first doing a study with them on how students would describe their lives through a series of images.

So, we thought, Let's give it a shot, and we'll know this is a learning experience. I can't vouch for Ruth, but I did not expect something world-shaking. I simply wanted my disciple to get the gist of how the tool works, and try to transition into a deeper conversation after we finished the five study questions.

GOLLY! What we got was definitely more than I'd bargained for! The girl we spoke with in the dorm absolutely loved sharing with us about her thoughts, beliefs, background, and responses to the five questions, and it was very easy to continue to talk with her and ask more questions. She was one of the most willing students I'd ever met in the United States.

Sadly, though, after we'd talked for nearly TWO HOURS, and after having shared the gospel message many times, as well as confronting her wrong world view that "all religions that believe in a god and in moral living are right," I wonder if she has been shaken from her wrong ideas at all.

At one point, I felt compelled to simply explain that God's plan was KNOWING HER. That's it. I was pretty clear (I think) that He only wanted to be in relationship with her, not for her to do good things. I even went so far as to say that God planned every detail from the beginning of time to lead up to now, to orchestrate her knowing all that she does, and for her to meet Ruth and me. I told her all of history, Columbus sailing to America, the moon being put into its orbit; it all was done out of God's great love for her.

And that's the only thing that makes Jesus' death worthwhile.

Because the whole history of time has been leading up until the moment I am in relationship with God fully, Jesus was willing to die for me. Why else would He give up Heaven to come to earth? Why else would He give up His reputation, His wealth and power, His own life? Why else would He do God's will and not His own on the day of His accusation and crucifixion?

After two hours, I think my own heart better understood the depth of God's love for this girl who sadly is lumping Him with lesser and pathetic idols.

So often, I am she.