sometimes my life is like a dream...

I was reflecting a little tonight on how my life has gone up until this point. If my eight-year-old self could see me, would she be proud? Would she be excited for all of the things that she'd experience from her ninth birthday on?

Of course, I haven't really stuck to my own plans as a child, adolescent, or even young adult, but I think I'd be pretty stoked for what I've gotten to do and see in the most recent 15 years of life. Just thinking about what I'm prepping for now has blown my eight-year-old mind. A whole summer in Germany?!?!? I am SO COOL when I grow up! ;)

As I'm sure most people would attest regarding their own lives, there are in mine the unavoidable faults and failures that lurk in dark corners ready to jump out and frighten away the hope of a child that her future would be full of adventure and beautiful mystery. Still, though, I can only imagine showing myself a real yukata from Japan or photos of myself on the Eiffel Tower, or telling the stories of exciting (and forbidden?) late-night adventures in the wild U.P. (I think my young self would be excited just to know I'd even been to the U.P.!).

sigh!

There are often times when I wonder if I've been mistaken in my own direction. Was it a mistake to discard my 10-year plan? Today, I don't feel that way, though. I think it's been wonderful so far... and there are always runaway ramps if I lose control! ;)

Question of the day: If your eight-year-old self met you now, what would he or she be impressed by the most?

and tomorrow... i regress

It's definitely been awhile since the internet and I have connected--a week, to be specific. It's odd how much your inbox can pile up in that short period, and also odd how many new people decided they wanted to be my facebook buddies. That is not really a very common occurrance now that I'm out of college.

No pic today... I'm on Grace's computer, and therefore my photos are not with me.

Tomorrow and Thursday, I'll be back in kindergarten. I think it may be my favorite grade to sub in (children still young enough to fear their teacher's authority, even if it is a sub), and it's just plain fun. I recall fond memories from kindergarten, but also the tragic: having to sit next to Michael S., Matt kissing Kathy on the bus (SOOOO gross!), not getting to learn the letter people (dumb experimental learning programs). All in all, though, I give two hearty thumbs up for the half-day of wonder.

God bless the U.S.A.?

I subbed for a third grade class for half of today. It sounds so easy, but children can be WILD!

I think the highlight of my teaching time today was explaining what a quatrain was, and teaching the students the rhyming patterns they could use for the patriotic poems they were assigned to write.

As for patriotism, eight and nine-year-olds do not understand freedom, liberty or any of the other concepts that have become key patriotic lingo in the U.S. Reading their poems was like reading a paper I would write about caring for typewriters in the desert... completely obvious that the writer has no clue what's going on. Freedom is nice, just doesn't really mean much, you know? (Not to dog third graders, but I am disappointed that these concepts don't mean anything to them....)

I made a point to talk about what freedom really means in class today. Education, speech, opinion, action. We talked about slavery and oppression, which I think is something they understood a little, and the oppression most people were seeking to leave behind when coming to the United States (and this is still true today). We talked about the Statue of Liberty and what it meant to people as a symbol of their freedom and hope for a better future. I wished for a little while that I could've been the teacher of these students and could've given them lengthy assignments about these ideals that are so pivotal to our Americanism.

I think I'll write my own quatrain tonight.

ok, i just HAD to post this!

I just uploaded a bunch of photos off my dad's digital camera, and just had to post this photo. It's my Grandpa in his new letter-sweater. In case you missed the story, check it out on my xanga

at it again

The last week has been FULL of travel. I've come home from Indiana (Monday night), and driven to and from Laurinburg, NC to get my sister, Grace, from college (four days of driving...).

All the driving was pretty fun, though. I guess I'm a lot like my own pets who love to get to ride in the car... I just LOVE road trips! Mom and I made a point to attempt to see some things and do some things on our way down to NC, but our direct route was pretty crappy for scenic and exciting things to do and see.

We did, however, 1) take a little "byway" in Virginia and got to see an historic house of one of our founding fathers, 2) got a free ice cream at a really beautiful scenic lookout point, and 3) took a little tour around the town that inspired Mayberry on the Andy Griffith Show, Mount Airy, NC.

This pic is of my foot... (if you didn't already figure that out) on our way through Ohio during the onset of a storm. I was a little bored. Still, I think I enjoy looking at the awkwardness of the whole thing, so I thought I'd share it. :)

P.S. I am a big fan of the Ginger Peach tea at Panera. It's not fancy CR stuff, but it'll do for now, and then the GERMAN TEA! LESS THAN ONE MONTH!

re-learning how to count... i svenskt!

I'm doing some research for the novel and got to re-learn my long-lost Svenskt counting skills.

Here's 1-10:
Ett! Två! Tre! Fyra! Fem! Sex! Sju! Åtta! Nio! Tio!

Pronounciations are harder than I remember when I was a kid... and the online guides I was listening to just don't sound like Grandpa. Who to go with? I suppose it doesn't really matter how I pronounce them, though, since novels are read, not an oral dissertation. Sometimes, though, I wish everyone who reads my stuff reads it as I do. I would love to read it to them with the proper inflections and some beefy storytelling skills. I don't know if I could bear someone butchering the parts I love.

In the spirit of posting more pictures rather than less, I thought these six eggs from my mother country would be inspiring to a new generation of Swedes. Am I right?

home sweet home... i never leave this place!

This is a photo of my door I took on Valentine's Day (yeah, I loOove my place!). Soon, I won't live here anymore, and some boys will inhabit my room. Their couch is moving in this afternoon, so I'm tidying up the current mess (which isn't that bad, since most of my stuff is already gone) to welcome the sofa.

Other than that, I've been lounging, reading (a lot), orchestrating things I don't have anything to do with, and generally procrastinating the things I know I should be doing right now. Tada!

i have two sisters, too

One of these little girls is named Bernice. That's all I know.

If I were naming them all, though, I'd definitely name the little one, Helen. I think the middle one is probably Bernice, for some reason, but if I were giving her another name altogether... hmm... Joanie? And the eldest... something dreadful, I think. Perhaps... Gladys. Or Myrtle.

I have two sisters, too... and although we have no pictures like this one, I can see a glimpse of us as children here. Annie, Rachel and Helen, our storybook selves.

for jonny: An attempt at wisdom…Self-Denial

I'm pretty sure I need to preface this post, so here goes.... After reading Jonny's post, I felt the need to share the thoughts I recorded after talking with Anna earlier this semester (actually, this has been quite a hot topic in our conversation lately). This actually only hits on Jonny's topic a little, but focuses more on what we should be focusing on rather than being obsessed with gratifying our own desires and passions. Bon appetite!

Matthew 16:24—Then Jesus told His disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

What does denial of self really mean? What does it look like? Christ calls us to deny ourselves, pick up our crosses, forsake all, and follow Him. How do we obey this call?

Denying yourself means not simply relying on our “passions” to determine our paths…not just doing what we like, or what “feels right”. Instead, it requires a willingness to sacrifice ALL—“passions,” money, time, comfort—for the sake of Christ. This means crucifying our desires with Him if necessary.

Self-denial means that we don’t always do the thing we like. It means we don’t always spend all of our time with our girlfriend or boyfriend. It means we don’t always dedicate ourselves to our studies 60 hours a week to get all A’s. It means we don’t always go hang out with our buddies and party. It also means sometimes we do things that aren’t our favorite things, things that are hard or uncomfortable. We get up at 6 a.m. before class to have a quiet time, even though we didn’t get a lot of sleep that night. We share our faith, even when we don’t “feel like it”. We give up comfort, wealth, or security to be a pioneer for Christ.

To deny ourselves, we make a conscious choice to resist our selfishness and self-centeredness and follow Christ instead. We give up the good for the best.

In doing this, we need to see ourselves in truth. We need to ask God to show us what the truth really is, asking: how am I being selfish? What drives my decisions? What ARE my desires? How am I responding to them or being influenced by them? Upon understanding the truth about our motives, we must repent of our failure to deny self, and choose to serve God (alongside Christ) instead.

When Christ called people to follow Him, they were required to leave everything to do so: their boats, nets, occupations (Luke 5:11, Matt. 9:9)…their families and obligations (Luke 9:57-62)…anything and everything of value or cost was to be given up for the sake of the call of Christ. What are you clinging to that needs to be left behind in order to follow after Christ? What are you saying, “First, I must do…” before you follow Him? To what have you told Christ, “Anything…but THAT…”?

colin's got IT

Today my computer decided to freak out and tell me that it couldn't recognize the hard drive, and there was no operating system. Naturally, I freaked out, too. There's a whole lot of stuff on here that I am in no hurry to lose to reformatting crises. Anyhow, I instinctively called Colin. By day he's an average college student, plugging away at his engineering. By night, however (and sometimes by day as well), he morphs into COLIN, THE COMPUTER WHISPERER. He's a whiz.

So he called me back (after a very dweeby, oh-so-uncool panicky message by me), and told me he had no clue what was wrong... but simply the sound of his voice fixed the problem. The computer magically healed itself. I tell you, this guy really has got IT.

i never knew cream of wheat could be so yummy!

That's right, folks... today I learned of the deliciousness of cream of wheat! Emily and I went over to Adriana's (our friend from the international Bible study) apartment tonight for a yummy Romanian dinner with her and her daughter, Nina. It was really really good! :)

I am very bad at remembering what the main meal is called (something like "mamaliga"?), but it was a cornmeal-based paste which you added feta, cottage cheese, sour cream, butter, etc. to, and then mixed them all together. I enjoyed it a lot. For dessert, we had the cream of wheat with strawberries--a combo I definitely never would've imagined on my own, but one that was surprisingly good. I plan to try to make both again sometime. Mmmmm!

The dinner was a great time of hanging out, too. Nina is coming to Purdue in the fall, so I hope to see her again (a lot?). It was really fun getting to meet her since I've heard so much about her, and we got to see her fancy commencement and prom dresses in a sort of fashion show. :) She's a talker (for sure!), but it was just great. Adriana is simply a wonderful friend, too. I didn't want to leave! She's a very kind hostess, and just a very sweet and caring woman. I'm going to miss her a lot over the summer.

That said, I'm getting more and more excited about Germany, but also sadder and sadder about leaving Lafayette, despite my lack of friends here to hang out with on a normal basis. I'm really going to miss my staff buddies (today we quilted, and that was a blast!), my students, and folks like Adriana who I never would've met in Cow-town. Michigan is one of my favorite places, for sure, but there are definitely things about Indiana that I'll miss this summer!


On another note...
Today I thought I sent my cell phone to Africa. Thankfully, I did not.